“We just broke up,” my friend uttered as she was nursing her half empty pint. It was a quiet Tuesday night. We were both sitting at the bar just catching up.
I didn’t know what to say. I don’t think she did either. She didn’t have to. You can see it in her eyes, something was missing and she’s not her usual self. I could empathize. I’ve seen it before. It’s the same one that I had when I broke up with my long-term girlfriend a few years back.
How Do You Know When To Break Up?
There are realities in life that you can’t avoid. Somethings are just out of your control, no matter much effort you exert. In any relationships, there are going to be good days and bad. Now and again, however, your differences might become more evident. It’s one thing to disagree about which movie to watch on a Friday night or which appetizer you want to share when dining out at a restaurant, it’s another thing when your sense of self-worth is being compromised.
Your environment will have a profound effect on how you turn out to be. When you date someone, you spend an enormous amount of time together. Love is a strong bond. Someone who is truly in love will consistently choose to put in effort and make it work despite how difficult it may be. The moment you no longer want to fight and the other person is no longer a priority, listen to that feeling.
How do you know when to break up? If your better half isn’t challenging you become a better person anymore, don’t hold back. The longer you stay, the more destructive it becomes. If you feel miserable and you are hoping things will get better, you have to trust your own mind and know that it is your right to be loved and happy. Know that you are deserving, entitled to assert your needs and wants.
Of all the judgements we pass in life, there is none that is more important than the one we pass on ourselves. At the end of the day, the reputation that you have with yourself is the one that matters. It is the one that will dictate what you deserve, how much you will put up with and how much you are willing to compromise.
When the relationship you’re in is no longer in alignment with your core values, it damages your self-esteem and your perceived self-worth. At that point, why would you bother pursuing better things? Your standards change and you’re convinced that being miserable is acceptable. This is as good as it is going to get. You seek what’s comfortable even if that means staying in the relationship, despite how toxic and destructive it may be. You don’t want to feel like you’ve failed at something and you’re left grasping at straws.
When do you know to cut your losses and move? How do you know you’re in a dead-end relationship?
- When you feel like you’re living under water, you’re being suffocated and you can’t wait to get to the surface to breathe and get some air.
- When your perception of the other person has changed and you don’t see them in the most positive light.
- When their small mannerisms that used to be cute is now annoying.
- When they’re not the last thought in your mind when you go to bed.
- When you stop looking for the good things in them because you don’t see value anymore.
If you feel like you are becoming someone you don’t want to be, like it no longer feels authentic and the relationship is not serving you in a positive way. It comes down to your self-worth. What do you think you deserve in the relationship that you’re in? The moment you stop seeing the other person in the picture frame of your life, it’s time to call it quits and move on.
Breaking up with someone is a painful experience. It’s difficult to resist every single fibre of your emotion that tells you to stay and fight but logically everything points toward the other direction. Ultimately, you are responsible for your own happiness and well-being. No one is coming; this one is all on you.
When people break up, they usually underestimate their power to change and grow. They feel lost and confused because they’re out of their usual routine. Suddenly, they have a lot more free time than they’re used to. Friday night is no longer date night and they don’t know how to fill their empty calendar. They believe that yesterday’s pattern must be tomorrow’s. They do not see choices that objectively do exist.
The longer you stay with the wrong person, the more time you’re taking away from someone who would be truly right for you.
Take the lessons from the relationship in order to learn more about who you are, how you react and why. Keep them close to heart and you’ll start to attract the right people in your life. This will bring you closer you get to figuring out your true authentic self. Apply it to the next lucky person who would have the privilege of being with you.
Take Control Of Your Dating Life
In a dating bootcamp, I go over these topics in greater detail and more. For the entire weekend, I take you by the hand and help you implement these ideas in real-time. By the end of the program, you’ll be able to walk up to a girl, engage her confidently and give yourself an opportunity to go on a date with her. If this sounds interesting to you, send me a message and let’s discuss how I can help you.
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